Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Tell me.........

Tell me,
How do you do now?

Tell me,
What’s on your mind now?

Tell me,
Do you miss me?

Tell me,
Do you still love me?

Yes, do you love me?

Please.. Don’t think about others first.
 I beg you. I beg you to let go of those problems.
Think about your feeling first..
Only for this time, tell me how do you feel now?
How do you feel if you see me?

Yes, do you happy with everything that you’ve done? With your decision?

If these questions make you feel uneasy again..
I’m just curious..
Curiosity to know about your feeling, after what happened..
Because my feeling towards you is still the same..

Yeah.. I’ve tried to forget everything..about you..
I tried not to look at your eyes..
I tried not to see you..
I tried not to hear your voice..
I tried not to think about you..

I have tried so hard..............

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

just a little bit about christmas

HOLLA! Happy New Year 2012!! And here I am in IPG once again.. It's good to be back anyway.. Plus it's a new year, a good start for a new life for me..Yup.. Yeah, just got here and watched 'Ombak Rindu' the movie.. Well.. Not bad.. How I wish my love story will end happily just like that.. Anyway, the song theme for this movie is so nice though because I can actually relate it to my life.. Here..

Ombak Rindu

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku
Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosa ku
Hanya ingat Kamu kala duka ku
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka
Pintu hatinya untuk cintaku
Malam kau bawalah rinduku
Untuk dirinya yang jauh dari ku
Agar dia tidak kesepian
Selalu rasa ada cinta agung
Hujan bawa air mata ku
Yang mengalir membasuh luka ku
Agar dia tahu ku terseksa
Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku
Hanya mampu terserah
Moga cahaya di penanti
Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku

Nice right? I told ya..

There's nothing much to say about my Christmas holiday anyway.. Everything was seem to be.... I don't know how to say it or describe it.. It's just happened deep in my heart. Well, I am sure you guys know what or how is it feel when something awful happen and you don't have any idea how to say it.. You only can feel it but speechless. That's what I felt. 

Thank God I still have my friends, family and Wen who cheer me up during Christmas. Yeah. I might say that I still feel sad whenever I see him. Yup. I try not to look in his eyes or even talk to him. I did it. As he pass by me, I ignored him like I never know him before. I have to do that or else.. You know what will happen. That's the only way I can choose to live with. 

I will. And that's what I did last Christmas. I also didn't wish him during his birthday at all. I know this is the best for both of us. He used to say that he doesn't want to have any relationship with me, not at all. So, I guess, our relationship as cousin or family also does't mean anything. I guess that's it.