Tuesday, 21 February 2012

p u r p l e v a l e n t i n e

hello people!!!

It's been a while.. So, whaddup? haha..

Anyway, I am so haaapppppppppppy at this moment because I got a new gadget to play with which is my new Sony Ericsson camera!!! hehe

I named her PURPLEVALENTINE since it is in february month aka Valentine month.. And she is in purple colour!! But sometimes she looks like in blue.. I don't know but I'll say it PURPLE, full stop! haha..

She was born on 19th February 2012. ooooo... Actually, I bought this camee just to please myself, to cheer up my mood because that was the date when I started to be single and it's been a year.. Anyway, it works! I knew God will always help me to cheer me up! hehe.. He gave me an idea to buy something that benefit me a lot, A LOTT! haha

Well, that's all for today and tooooduLLLL! -full stop-

p u r p l e v a l e n t i n e

crack!!! it's me :)

Thursday, 9 February 2012

I saw your relationship status. It's complicated gik ya. So, dalam masa we broke up ni, u mmg dah ada someone else la? So, this is the main reason why u nak break up dulu? So that u will be able to be with other girl ka? I dont know. I just guessing because I saw your r/ship status bha.

I still remember that you said you xnak ada gf. But why it is complicated? I'm sorry. I'm too emo at this moment.

It's almost one year since you've left me behind ok. You sedar x tu? You ni ada perasaan atau tak? U tau ka dalam blog jak I brani express my feeling walaupun I really want to tell you all these.. But I never get a chance to. You scared me away bha. I admit it, I still have feeling towards you, obviously.

At least la we become friend ok. At least you talk to me. Bkn angp I ni mcm stranger, like nothing ever happen between us ok. I x tahu la u ni, I x sangka ur prangai blh jd sampai mcm ni.

Every day I pray so that you will be able to see to feel what I've been through. Every night, before I go to sleep, I pray so that you won't be so EGO! And every moment, I pray that I can forget YOU! I need to.. I don't want to have you in my memory. Because I know how hurt it is.

Do you know that how much of tears have I cried? It's uncountable ok. I don't know how you survive happily while someone else is suffering.

God, help me. Amen.

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Tell me.........

Tell me,
How do you do now?

Tell me,
What’s on your mind now?

Tell me,
Do you miss me?

Tell me,
Do you still love me?

Yes, do you love me?

Please.. Don’t think about others first.
 I beg you. I beg you to let go of those problems.
Think about your feeling first..
Only for this time, tell me how do you feel now?
How do you feel if you see me?

Yes, do you happy with everything that you’ve done? With your decision?

If these questions make you feel uneasy again..
I’m just curious..
Curiosity to know about your feeling, after what happened..
Because my feeling towards you is still the same..

Yeah.. I’ve tried to forget everything..about you..
I tried not to look at your eyes..
I tried not to see you..
I tried not to hear your voice..
I tried not to think about you..

I have tried so hard..............

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

just a little bit about christmas

HOLLA! Happy New Year 2012!! And here I am in IPG once again.. It's good to be back anyway.. Plus it's a new year, a good start for a new life for me..Yup.. Yeah, just got here and watched 'Ombak Rindu' the movie.. Well.. Not bad.. How I wish my love story will end happily just like that.. Anyway, the song theme for this movie is so nice though because I can actually relate it to my life.. Here..

Ombak Rindu

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku
Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosa ku
Hanya ingat Kamu kala duka ku
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka
Pintu hatinya untuk cintaku
Malam kau bawalah rinduku
Untuk dirinya yang jauh dari ku
Agar dia tidak kesepian
Selalu rasa ada cinta agung
Hujan bawa air mata ku
Yang mengalir membasuh luka ku
Agar dia tahu ku terseksa
Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku
Hanya mampu terserah
Moga cahaya di penanti
Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku

Nice right? I told ya..

There's nothing much to say about my Christmas holiday anyway.. Everything was seem to be.... I don't know how to say it or describe it.. It's just happened deep in my heart. Well, I am sure you guys know what or how is it feel when something awful happen and you don't have any idea how to say it.. You only can feel it but speechless. That's what I felt. 

Thank God I still have my friends, family and Wen who cheer me up during Christmas. Yeah. I might say that I still feel sad whenever I see him. Yup. I try not to look in his eyes or even talk to him. I did it. As he pass by me, I ignored him like I never know him before. I have to do that or else.. You know what will happen. That's the only way I can choose to live with. 

I will. And that's what I did last Christmas. I also didn't wish him during his birthday at all. I know this is the best for both of us. He used to say that he doesn't want to have any relationship with me, not at all. So, I guess, our relationship as cousin or family also does't mean anything. I guess that's it.