Tuesday, 16 August 2011
THE OLD ME
I really miss the old me though. I miss the old Q yang selalu kena buli by her own classmate. Since mula2 masuk school lagi. Because I was a fat dump girl in class back then. I selalu kena suruh buat ini, buat itu. What to do, I just follow their order. Yes, I do have bestfriends but we were not that much close before. Someday my bestfriends took me for granted. Kind of sad but that was before, we were still in a new relationship. That's why we belum lagi so close like we are right now. I miss the old me yang langsung tak tahu anythin. I don't know what is love, smoke, drink, social life, hang out and what so ever lar! Sometimes, bila diingatkan semula, apa yang terjadi dengan I sekarang sebab I terlalu daring. Ever siince I masuk secondary school, I slalu kena buli ok, I pendam semua perasaan itu. I diabaikan, no one know about me. No one cares about me, why? Because I was fat and dump girl. But now? I dare to do something that the girls who used to bullied me so that they would respect me. So that I was accepted. So that I could be in their group. BULLSHIT that! Just because of that, I had ruined my life! I had lost my happiness! EVERYTHING! I do hate my self sometimes because of my own behaviour. I never think twice. BUT, apa la sangat budak gemuk ini boleh buat? All I wanted was to be accepted. I cuma nak hentikan semua orang ketawakan I. I nak hentikan orang memandang rendah terhadap I. That's all I wanted 6 years ago. And now it turns out to be worst. Worst than I ever imagined my life was.